Friendships...

Recently I had a long talk with my oldest (who is 18 yrs, who is home finally from his 17 day trip) about friendships. He has had this one friend since he was 4 years old. That friend moved to our current town about 2 years before we did, so they've been together since preschool days. This friend has been good to my son, been there, etc. But the thing that is very different about this kid than my kid, is that this boy has never had any drive. He never has had many goals or desires to go on and be someting after high school etc. It doesn't make him less of a friend, just one without much amibition other than to "hang out". 
So my son came to me today talking about his friend and how he finally got a job after HS (it's been 8 months since they both graduated). His pal is now the newest member at a car wash placehere in town, washing semi's at a truck stop. The kid apparently thinks it's "the shit". Ryan thinks it's great that he got a job, but definitely doesn't think it's "the shit".  I guess he tried to have a talk with his friend about goals for the future. It wasn't getting far and my son came home frustrated. I tried to talk to him about friendships. You can be there for someone, hang out, have a great time and it doesn't mean that you have to like all things the same, have the same goals, dress alike, etc. One of my closest friends is 135 pounds, which I clearly am not. She is very athletic, I am not. She walks 40 miles a week, I am lucky to walk 7-9. She is a full time teacher, I am a stay at home mom with no college background. But I love her. We have a great time together. We laugh together, we cry together, we enjoy each others company and even joke around about how we are totally different.......I think that in general I have a lot of friends that are totally different than me. We have some things that are simular, but all in all a lot of things that are different. And I told him that it's ok! It's ok. Friendship isn't about having everything in common, or doing the same things, eating the same meals, or sweating to the same amount of miles walked....it's about loving someone for who they are. It's about enjoying who you are when you are with them. Listening to who they are and who they want to be and respecting that. Friends are what carry you through good times and the bad, regardless if you have nothing in common but a good laugh. I love my friends---the ones that look like me, act like me, eat and dress like me--and I definitely love the ones that don't just the same.........